Last year’s remastered Destroy All Humans was a smashing success. It should come as no surprise that THQ has announced a remaster of Destroy All Humans 2. With all the success THQ has been having, it’s likely they will continue remastering DAH games and hopefully even create new entries in the series.

However, if Destroy All Humans: Big Willy Unleashed (originally for the Wii) is next on their list, there is one major change that needs to happen. It revolves around the character of Patty Wurst.

Crypto and Pox are watching tv in Harbor City and happen upon the evening news. Bill Kincaid, a news reporter, announces that the Big Willy Corporation has opened its fifth-hundred restaurant and that President Huffman has resigned, implying that Crypto gave up on controlling the American Government. The news is then interrupted by the missing heiress named Patty Wurst using a pirated television signal to appear on the channel. She reveals that Big Willy is using human corpses to grind up and feed to the public and that a shipment of meat supply is going to dock at the Harbor to prove her case

And so begins an exciting storyline in which Crypto has to stop Patty

Patty Wurst is awesome. She is shown to clash with her wealthy family’s elitist views and she is shown to have compassion for the poor. She tries to warn the other humans about Big Willy, and in the end, she jumps into a tank in a heroic effort to destroy the evil restaurant. On the surface, Patty Wurst is definitely one of the best characters in the DAH franchise.

Unfortunately, this promising storyline is completely ruined when Patty reveals that she is only fighting the Furons to “get back at daddy.” The game took a strong, independent woman hero and reduced her motivation down to a petty grudge with her father – a character who never even appears in BWU or any other Destroy All Humans property. And this doesn’t even make sense. With this one move, the game completely destroys one of their best characters for a joke that isn’t even funny. Here are five reasons why this makes no sense. Why would Patty’s father be opposed to her trying to warn humanity about the Furons? Is he working with them? Is he just concerned for her safety? And why, oh why, did the developers think they had to give Patty a secret motivation to her fighting against cannibalistic aliens who are killing her friends and serving them to other humans as food? Isn’t that reason enough to fight? And why did the developers not realize that ruining their best woman characters’ character would not go well with the fans?

Unsurprisingly, Big Willy Unleashed was the only game in the DAH series that received negative reception from both fans and critics. The two reasons cited most were bad graphics (a problem which will almost certainly be fixed in a remake) and a lame storyline. The destruction of Patty’s character is often cited as one of the worst parts of Big Willy Unleashed.

THQ has an opportunity here. They can retcon this mistake in a rebooted Big Willy Unleashed. Give Patty Wurst more reasons to fight the Furons. Sure, make her mad at her father – that’s fine. Maybe have Crypto taunt her with a “Doing this to get back at daddy, huh?” And have her respond by blasting the restaurant and saying: “No. Daddy sucks. He’s only a small part of why I’m doing this.” Make it clear that Patty Wurst’s main concern is protecting innocent humans from the evil Furons.

Patty Wurst deserves as much, and so do her fans.