It was a normal day for Jeremy as he loaded up his stream on Rumble. Rumble was the only large streaming platform toxic enough to allow manosphere personalities like him to stream there, which was good for him, considering he’d been banned from YouTube and then Twitch following bullying campaigns orchestrated by him against others on the same platform. About four hundred people were tuned in to watch Jeremy give his totally original and not at all dime a dozen hot takes complaining about woke Disney films and woke video games. And then a superchatter posted a link to the Steam demo and the Kickstarter page for Cooking Companions Dread Weight. Jeremy froze. “No,” he said, his voice monotone, his eyes twitching. Silence. “No,” he repeated, and he shook his head, horror coming into his face. “No! No! No! Is this a joke? Is this a joke, bruh?!” The chat went wild as chatters began asking what was happening. “No, this has to be a joke, it has to! No, damn in, but it’s not, and it’s already raised twenty thousand dollars on Kickstarter! No!” Spit flying from his mouth, Jeremy directed his audience to look at what he’d just seen. (Normally, a streamer would be able to redirect the image into the screen for viewers to see, but I guess Jeremy was too shell-shocked to think of this. As viewers rushed to click on the link supplied by the original superchatter, Jeremy just had two things to say. “Now the woke mob has come for Japan. It’s so over, bros.” (Editor’s note, but Cooking Companions is not Japanese anime, the dev comes from Minnesota. But Jeremy couldn’t be bothered to look this up, I suppose.)

But what prompted this meltdown from one of the manosphere’s biggest grifters? The answer is Gisela, one of the new main characters from the latest Cooking Companions game. If you know anything about the “anti-woke” “anti-SJW” crowd on the internet, then you’ll know why they are enraged at her:

Strong, independent egalitarian women are a big n-no for these types. And Gisela is the epitome of all their worst fears come true. These types have been taking L after L lately. They were outraged at Rune Fencer Ilia for featuring a tomboy as the main character, and that game isn’t even out let, but was also recently funded on Kickstarter. They were also outraged at the recently released Vernal Edge, where you play as an angry 22 year old woman who is trying to kill her evil father. Now comes along Dread Weight, featuring an extremely muscular bodyguard woman who enjoys smashing men’s (who try to kill the man she’s protecting) heads through walls, killing them instantly. To make things even worse for the anti-SJW grifters, real life muscular woman Paryss Bryanne recently collaborated with the developers of the game:

“I didn’t fight in the trenches of Gamergate to end up in a gaming world like this,” said one poster in the Rumble chat thread, who unironically described himself as a “veteran” of the Gamergate war. “It’s like we don’t even matter anymore,” huffed another. What makes these types of gamers especially frustrated is the fact that these games, Vernal Edge, Rune Fencer, and Dread Weight, have met with massive fundraising success on Kickstarter. So yes, the gamers who are unhappy with strong women in games truly are a minority. These games are meant for the growing women gamer demographic and also male gamers who aren’t insecure and who actually like strong independent women. Dread Weight hasn’t even left Kickstarter and Gisela is already leaving an impression. I predict that she will be like Lady D from Resident Evil Village, meaning someone who the entire internet thirsts over. Once Gisela really goes viral, who knows how big Dread Weight will become? The above story about Jeremy and his fans is satire, but the rest is not. In real life, most women only respect men who treat them as equals, so it’s a good thing that the newest generation of video games is catching up. Long gone are the days when games like Destroy All Humans could create a feminist woman and then cast her as the villain. These new indie games are made by sincere people who are reflecting truth in their characters, unlike the old misogynist titles of the past (though some of the old ones were good and defied their peers too.) Long gone are the days in which women were simply the damsel in distress. Regardless of whether the story ends up being a masterpiece or being crap or maybe a bit of both, people will still play the game just for a chance to romance or befriend Gisela. That’s why the anti-woke grifters are mad. They don’t believe a woman is actually a person. They think women should be submissive to the opinions of men and never fight or have their own opinions. No wonder the anti-SJW people are so out of touch with the rest of the world.

Dread Weight is still at Kickstarter for at least another twenty days. Go ahead and give it a look.

Who says you can’t be nerdy cute and muscular at the same time?

J. Neira is a BLM Antifa activist and a self-published author of suburban horror novels featuring Goth girl protagonists. Their first book, Raven’s Dream, is available on Amazon. Thei next, Lola’s Haunter, will be published later this year, and the protagonist will appear in the upcoming indie horror game  Blue June.