This is the final home stretch for the new trilogy of Star Wars films starring Rey “I can do everything without a last name” and I honestly couldn’t tell what the message of this saga has been, what they were attempting to do, or what the general gist was up to this point. Rey was one of the most under-developed characters in the history of trilogies, and the only interesting character – no scratch that, there were no interesting characters. Anyway, the final trailer for this trifecta of terribleness is finally here and I couldn’t begin to tell you what it means or what it’s about.

I know, I know… I rant all day long about movie trailers that give away everything and yet here I am complaining about a two-and-a-half-minute trailer that tells us absolutely nothing.

I think the reality is that there needs to be a reason for people to want to see a film. Some films can get away with showing us three minutes worth of content without telling us what the film is about because it’s a mystery, or a thriller, or there’s a plot-twist and they don’t want to spoil it for us. In this case, there is no mystery, there is no thrills, there’s just… nothing.

The trailer starts with Rey running and jumping and dodging blaster fire, and we have no idea why. In fact, we have no explanation why Rey is doing anything in this film.

What is Rey doing and why?!

We get some shots of her adventuring across space, some vapid dialogue about no one knowing who she is (because even the writers probably don’t even know) and a face off with Kylo Ren for the third time in the trilogy!

We see an empty chair where Palpatine was supposed to be, another massive space fight that leaves me scratching my head given that majority of the rebels/resistance/whatever they were got wiped out in The Last Jedi, and C3PO talking about seeing his friends for the last time, even though I’m pretty sure he didn’t spend much time around Poe or the black boy.

Now look, I’ll admit the shot of all those Star Destroyers is pretty cool, but it’s instantly undermined by the fact that a handful of the rebels are riding backwater animals on top of them… and it’s like what?!

Everything that could have been cool about this movie trilogy is always cut off at the knees by its own ridiculous plot devices, piss-poor utilization of characters, and nonsensical story devices.

For instance, will we even get any sort of clarification on Benecio del Toro’s character was that just a pointless one-off in The Last Jedi?

Anyway, I could write massive dissertations breaking down and pointing out how awful this new Star Wars trilogy is, but I’ll spare everyone the heart ache and call it a day here. In fact, I’m glad that we can call it a wrap on this trilogy for good come December 20th when the film hits theaters.